2012

 
   I still remember. I was at a book fair, looking through discounted books, when I flipped to a page, I read a line, it cut through my heart. This was 2012 for me.

   From V.S. Naipaul's "The Masque of Africa" citing Rian Malan's "The Traitor's Heart":

   "If you're really going to live..., you have to be able to look at it and say, 'This is the way of love, down this road: look at it hard. This is where it is going to lead you.'... 'I think you will know what I mean if I tell you love is worth nothing until it has been tested by its own defeat.'"

  And the answer for me, is to love more. Always love more. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts. I will love us into the space beyond space, into oblivion. I will love until the stars can no longer be indifferent, and we will be remembered on a night like this.

Do not fear, my friends.

   
    The year is ending and there is so much to say, with so little words. I shall fall back on what I once wrote when I turned twenty-one, 

A whole life awaits. Do not fear, my friends. For fear of the things we cannot control is like trying to control a tooth ache. All of you are so brave and beautiful.

   (And four years later, I do fear. I do want to control pain. I do sometimes want to hide in hidden pockets of time, where the world won't change, but I get a day of uninterrupted peace and sleep. I do wonder what will happen, and when it does, if I would be brave enough. But, most of all, my friends, who are still here, to listen to me say this once more. All of you are so brave and beautiful). 

La Maison Fatien

La Maison Fatien 

76 Duxton Road 

For reservations: 62203822

$60-90 per pax (without wine) 

French 

Semi-formal, quiet charm 

Warm service but inattentive 

     Two weeks ago, M, H and J picked La Maison Fatien to celebrate my birthday for me. I still remember it had started to rain and all of us were arriving from different directions. I started to get lost as I walked from Pinnacle and the rain pitter-pattered all over me. When I reached 76 Duxton Road, La Maison Fatien appeared like a lovely grey safehouse from the rain outside. 

   I was first and grateful to be seated and served warm water. (Lots of it, please!) The manager (I'm guessing) was lovely and started going through the wine menu. It is of note that La Maison Fatien has its own winery but it's only sold by the bottle. So, we didn't try any since only M and I can drink, and we are very bad with wine. 

   What I like most about this place is that it seems outside of time - whether it is because of the lovely company I was in where we would laugh for hours, or the way it was decorated, there is a quiet stillness about this place that I really like. 

Both pictures from the La Maison Fatien homepage. Top shows the 1st floor and the Bottom shows the 2nd floor. 

    I think this place also serves excellent starters - we either had foie gras (I am ever constant in my fixation with foie gras) or onion soup. Oh, the onion soup was divine, wonderfully enhanced by the wintry coolness of the rain outside. The texture of the onion soup was interesting - with delicious bits of bread and I cannot remember. Frankly, I love a place with many wonderful starters because it encourages all to order a large variety as possible to share. After all, a meal is about sharing isn't it? 

  

   

         

Lovely scallops as main course 

   The sweetest thing is that since we all stepped into La Maison Fatien, J kept asking if they had a chocolate cake. She said their chocolate molten lava cake was highly recommended online and really wanted to have it. I thought it was one of her pregnant cravings. It wasn't on the menu and we had to ask if they could provide. The restaurant said they had one left.

   When it came, I was surprised (even though I knew this was my birthday celebration). It is difficult to surprise each other when it has now been ingrained as tradition that the four of us take turns to celebrate each other's birthday at a new restaurant. J stated she knew I loved chocolate molten lava cake. And, I did love it.

   Thank you girls for making growing older so sweet.

Merry Christmas!

    Christmas for my family is a variable occasion. When I was very young, I remember my mum setting up a huge Christmas tree in the living room. We would all decorate it. Pearl and I were short, so we mainly decorated the base with our favourite disney characters. We would cry, "where are the presents?  presents?" and watch as the presents sprout magically on Christmas morning. On the morning of Christmas, we would run down and gleefully look for the presents that belonged to us. Ah, the glories of youth, when decorum does not apply,

  As we grew older, we no longer set up the Christmas tree. Sometimes, we would have a big party at our house, or another relative's house, or we would go out to some glamourous place - sometimes, we just watched a movie, and it didn't really feel like Christmas at all. But, we were always together.

   This year, I suggested getting a real Christmas tree and suggested having a small Christmas party with Grandma, Auntie and Uncle. My little suggestion grew into a full blown wonder as my Mum took over. She is so extraordinary and I can only hope to be as good a hostess as her one day.

  She prepared two different table settings (one for a party on Christmas Eve and the family one on Christmas day) and prepared a veritable feast! The food was really wonderful and you felt as you could eat forever.

   I am always touched when I receive gifts. But, I was most overwhelmed when I gave my presents to Grandma. She looked taken aback and said, "But I didn't get you any presents". She looked at me and my sister who was sitting next to me. And, I smiled and told her I just wanted her to enjoy my presents. She looked almost sad when she said she only got presents for the maids, cheap simple gifts, because she knew my sister and me won't like those items and she couldn't afford expensive gifts. I told Grandma then with all my heart that we didn't need presents, we just wanted to eat her cooking. She smiled then and asked what we would like to eat. I told her anything, but especially her Agar Agar, and proceeded to eat them from the table.

   Dear reader, thank you for reading and I wish you a heartfelt Merry Christmas! I used all my birthday wishes this year for good health for those I love and care for, and that I am certain, includes you.

To my husband

I would like to be the air

that inhabits you for a moment

only. I would like to be that unnoticed

& that necessary. 

- Variations on the word sleep, Margaret Atwood

  

  Thank you for being the boy who found me at the crossroads when I was lost. You were lost too, but you said you felt as if you were found when you found me.

  Thank you for being you even when I tried to change you. For understanding that even while I loved you the way you were and are, I thought these changes would make you happier.

  Thank you for loving me. For loving me even though I was, am, a difficult person. For loving me because I am difficult.

   During my birthday week, I scarcely had time to think about my birthday. But, you slept on my couch every night, next to me, as I worked late into the night, sorting out the legal problems. At the end of each night/dawn, I would nudge you softly and say, "I'm done." And you would smile at me, and say, "Let's go to sleep."

   If love is an idea, you are my execution.

Bistro du Vin

   Bistro du Vin
   1 Scotts Road
   #02-12 Shaw Centre
   For reservations: 67337763
   $60-90 per pax (without wine)
   French
   Unpretentious, semi-formal with large servings
   Good service


     I've decided to make the effort and try my best to capture food moments, considering it has always been a dream of mine to be a food critic. However, as my general threshold for good food is set so low, I will likely be considered as non-discerning.

   M was saying we had not had a dinner just the two of us in ages, which was true - so she made reservations at Bistro du Vin and we had a lovely thursday dinner together. As the restaurant was largely decked in red with white snowflakes, it had a lovely christmas feel about it. I usually go with my regular foie gras and duck confit combination at French restaurants, but Bistro du Vin had a beautiful blackboard in the middle of the restaurant with all the daily specials.

   My heart skipped when I saw it had bouillabaisse with lobster! It's a provencal fish stew originating from Marseille. The first and last time I ate the dish was in Marseille! I loved it, ZM hated it - which really captures the essence of bouillabaisse - which is incredibly fishy and solely, completely, overwhelmingly, for hard core seafood lovers. This is the real fishy deal - just a soft spot for crustaceans would not cut it.

   M ordered beef cheeks with mashed potatoes. It was such a huge hearty serving that half an hour into it, she remarked, "it still looks untouched".

  All the food was generally good with such generous servings that we wondered if the restaurant might want to consider cutting a little back, so that diners can actually long for that little bit more, instead of feeling too heavy.

  But, the best dish was definitely the pan-seared foie gras with eggplant.

  It's incredibly tasty and incredibly value for money considering the price and the size. M and I agreed that we would share the foie gras next time as a starter, because we were left with no room for dessert.

  At the end of it all, with a heavy belly, we reminisced about our backpacking through Europe three years ago. When we did not have much money and were always hungry after each meal. But, although we were always hungry, I like to think our hearts were full. We laughed and laughed. Friends, indeed, are the greatest seasoning in life.

almost twenty seven

     As Mum pondered out loud whether she should buy two fried treats or just one, Dad chimed in, "Buy one. You won't be able to finish."

    Mum immediately turned to my sister, "I want two."

   I laughed and turned to my Dad, "Almost 27 years of marriage and you still don't realise you shouldn't tell your wife what to do?"

   They had little squabbles of what was good and bad for Mum's body, with Mum happily swinging the fried treat bags as we left the food centre.

    They walked off, hand in hand.

   "You should eat heathily," Dad said, "Because I want to be with you for a long time."