the perfect date

     The only question I get more often than "does ZM 'get' you or understand your writing?" is "Do you and ZM ever fight?" I suppose the answer is both yes and no, because of course ZM and I squabble, because we have such different attitudes towards life and money - but the answer is also no, because we don't really fight like most couples, it's never negative or personal or vindictive. And, I think it's never negative, personal or vindictive because ZM is not a person to take things negatively, personally or vindictively. I'm the kind of person who could/would - who can take something said or done in ordinary life and see it as a response to me personally. 

   But, ZM and I have been together for almost five years now, and within that time, both of us have in our own way, grown comfortable with how we say our 'I love you's. We don't say 'No' to each other, we say 'Maybe'. 

   Because, at a certain point in the relationship, both of us did not want to ever break up - knowing exactly the kind of person the other was. And at that point, you can't talk about deal-breakers anymore. Still, there would always be gaps - some easily filled than others. I've always wanted a dog - ZM always said no because he thought it was impossible and impractical to have a pet with our busy lifestyles. So, I told him that a dog is really important to me, so please think about it. 

  That was years ago now. ZM laughs now at how my "think about it" went to "maybe" to "we are going to get a dog when our house is ready". 

  My moral of the story isn't "please listen to your wife" (although that would be ideal). But, you don't know how happy you can make someone you love feel by never closing the door on any of her or his dreams (however impractical or insane or subjectively bad). 

   I thought about it today when ZM took leave and we explored the streets. Walking for a whole good afternoon. I asked ZM if he thinks we have changed and he said "we've just become more comfortable". Not more comfortable with each other, but more comfortable in our material wealth (because we had nothing previously). 

   Sometimes, it's easier to have nothing, because we then only had each other, and nothing to fight about. It's always the wanting that causes conflicts. But, I like this too - this world-building where we figure out how each other's wants and needs can co-exist. 

   I would like to walk the world with you. 

I would like to be your final yes. 

Photography credits: Kelvin Koh (Lightedpixels)