Today, surprisingly, was a day better than most. And yet, more than most days, I felt adrift. I've learned acutely again and again that it is on the happiest days I miss you most.
My favourite moment in Avengers was when Hulk (finally) transforms and he says his secret is that he was always angry. I felt I knew him in that moment.
When I was younger, I could almost always cry on cue. It's not that I could cry when I wanted to, but I think I was always irresistibly moved by the world.
Even now, when I am sad, it is not that I am saddened by something. The opposite is true - I have always been restraining not to be sad.
But, this is my real secret, I am happy and sad because of you. Neither of the two can live apart.
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