When faced with two equal desires, I often in the end choose the path of duty. But, what happens when duties multiply? I think the biggest difference after being married is suddenly realising you are part of two households. You don't only create a life with someone else, you inherit a whole other world - full of history, blessings, possibilities and responsibilities.
It's not easy, especially when you have so many ideas of what it should be. But, ZM and I talked about it, and he said he will remember one thing I said which was, "We shouldn't think about how others are like. This is our relationship, and we can only make it the best we can be. Be the best that we are." And, I think that gives us space and courage to figure out what we would like our marriage to be, because it is something that is alive, and always changing.
I like this line about marriage I came across, "It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy." It's why I always loved the chinese word, 囍 － not only does it represent double happiness, the structure of it is firm and solid, like two people holding hands.
Always holding hands, because if this is how we started, this is how we always should be.
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