the first person

        D asked me for dinner before I left for Taiwan. No pressure or anything. When it feels right. In the middle of my trip, I said let's! And, so, we met tonight.

        D is the first person I met outside my family for a social outing. And perhaps, it would always be her, because maybe I won't have said yes to anyone else. D was my definitive best friend - the first person I let myself be selfish to, the person that taught me how hurtful my selfishness could be, and finally the person that loved me even through my selfishness. D and I are often opposites - she appears strong but is very vulnerable inside, I appear vulnerable but am actually very hard inside. D is the kind of person who isn't strong but becomes strong for others.

      I didn't know how I would be. I didn't want to pretend to be happier than I really was. And, it's nice to know now that I didn't have to.

    Do you remember, D, five years ago when I told you, my first person, that ZM and I got together? You thanked me for being the first person, because maybe you sensed then that the first person was changing.

    "Don't stop," you say when I say I don't know if my dream of writing will come true. I tell you I almost stopped writing but my sister told me that the history of my mum's internet browser in her phone was full of my blog links. I always told my mother about my fear of mediocrity in writing and she always said you got to write to know if you are good.

    I shall also tell you now, "Don't stop". Don't stop asking of life what you want. There is no right or wrong in love - only giving and receiving.

   Finally, as I often say, you are stardust.